HOW DO I BALANCE THE DISSERTATION AND LIFE?

Finding the right balance between your dissertation and the rest of your life is something that you must determine for yourself. Some people may prefer to do nothing else, to put their lives on hold, and to get the dissertation done as quickly as possible. Others with families and careers may prefer to slow down the dissertation process and maintain much more balance in their lives.

Should I put the dissertation first?

If you are of the "just get it done" mindset, it is important to remember the advice I received from a friend:

"If you want to race the car fast, you need to put it in the shop now and then."

Because the dissertation is such a longterm endeavor, it is important to realize that you are likely to "hit the wall" at some time during this process. So it is considered prudent to have other relationships and activities to sustain you over the long haul.

The Law of Diminishing Returns

For those of you who want a dissertation and a life too, it is important to realize that the longer you take, the greater the likelihood of not completing your dissertation. Often life events do interfere. And for most people, at a certain point, a dissertation becomes very long and exhausting, and you may eventually run out of the resources you need to complete your dissertation.

Whatever path you choose, it is important that you determine and periodically review your priorities and your commitments to areas of your life besides your dissertation. Inevitably, however, in the final push to complete your dissertation, you will have to put the dissertation first and neglect some of those other areas of your life. You should realize that if you have nurtured them sufficiently, they will still be there to sustain you through the final days. Then you can breathe and catch up on your life!

WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY?

Unfortunately, many of us fail to succeed because they have their priorities out of whack. But if you can get your priorities straight, everything else will fall into place.

Here's your starting point. How many times have you heard a other say, "My priorities are God, family, church, work, etc."? I hear it all the time. It sounds spiritual. But the reality of that statement is that God is just one of many priorities. In other words, God is just one of many gods.If God makes one thing clear in Scripture, it's that He is God alone and expects us to make Him the priority of our lives.So instead of making a list of priorities -- with God as one in a list -- here's how your list of priorities should look: God.

That's right! That's all there is to it. God is your sole priority.Of course, we have a lot of other things we must attend to in life. These include family, church, work, etc. So how do these fit into this new priority? If God is your only priority, should you avoid all the other things? Of course not!The secret is that you now work on these areas of your life as a priority given by God. It is, in fact, His priority, not yours. You are responsible to do certain things for your family -- not as your priority, but God's. You work not because it's your priority, but God's. And the same applies to church and every other area of life. Anything that is God's priority is now your responsibility.How does this bring success? First of all, it helps you keep the right priority in all things.

If you have a list of priorities, it's oftentimes difficult to determine which one is most important. But if God is your sole priority, then everything always comes back to Him. It starts and ends with Him.Second, when you go to make up your list of priorities for the day or the week, you can now ask, "What are God's priorities for me today (or this week)?" Suddenly, a lot of the not-so-important things you want to do will drop off the list. And you're able to focus on your most important responsibilities.For instance, God's priority for Sunday is that you worship with other believers. So instead of working or sleeping in on Sunday morning, your responsibility is to attend worship. On Monday, however, attending worship is not God's priority. Work is His priority.

And, finally, the greatest way this contributes to your success is this: You can have full confidence that God's purposes will succeed (Prov. 19:21). And His priorities are geared to make sure that happens. When you walk in God's priorities, you know they will ultimately succeed.

GETTING PAST A JOB-LOSS

In these times of economic difficulties, losing a job can be very devastating. With it come uncertainties, worries and hurt ego. You get drown with such negative thoughts that you cannot seem to think clearly. As a result, you tend to pressure yourself and hastily look for any job. Or perhaps, you sulk in one place and pity yourself for suddenly being a part of ‘social outcast.' Or, it could be that you use your remaining energy to ‘sour-graping' or bashing of your former employer to salvage your wounded sense of worth. Those acts of desperation, self-denial and insecurities are just but counterproductive.

Anyone of us is a potential victim of layoff. Even the smartest professional could go through the same dilemma. More often than not, it comes in the most unexpected time of our career. When you think that everything seems to be going on the right track—you're doing a great job, you're getting good salary, etc – the company you're working with announced a massive layoff due to bad business situation. Alas, you're included in the list. And the pain can last for days, for months, or for years. It all depends on how you would accept and handle the situation.

First thing you have to do is to accept the fact that you lost your job. Face the situation and don't douse your self with panic and fears. It could be that you are just a victim of restructuring or closure which is way beyond your control. You have to compose yourself and look at the situation on a broader perspective. Yes, it is not easy to get yourself into a career transition especially if it comes in unwanted situation at unexpected time of your career. But the fact that you have to deal with it should give you enough strength to accept the situation and move on.

Discuss your fate with your family members and to those who will be directly affected of your job-loss. This should be the next important order in your list of action items. While it is true that it is not easy to bring up this type of subject, talking to them openly about the incident can lessen the emotional agony you're going through. Although you might get varied reactions from the family members, conducting an open discussion with them can help you and your family come up with valuable ‘resolutions' to the situation. In cases of financial concern, everyone in the circle can fill the temporary ‘monetary gaps' needed for the monthly expenses.

Equally important step you have to take is to assess yourself. While it can be that you are a just a victim of a circumstance, it is also possible that you have somehow influenced the situation that led to unfavorable effect towards you. You might ask yourself “why me?” Look at possible shortcomings or mistakes that you did in the workplace that could have contributed to your fate. Reflecting on this thing can help you pick up the pieces, learn from it and improve yourself.

Once you accept and gain a better understanding of the situation, it's now time for you to move forward. The ‘layoff' tag in your career does not decrease your chances of getting a job. It is how you carry yourself and how much you want a new job.

Just remember, you only lost a job, but not the knowledge and years of work experience in your portfolio.

WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT LOVE

I fell in love with you once . . .
And while I couldn’t let you know immediately
Eventually, in time, all was revealed.
They say that when you fall into love,
It can never last.
They say that true love grows, takes time,
But from the time I first fell in love with you,
My love has grown.
I know now that if I had the choice
To do it all over again.
I would, without a moment’s hesitation.
Yes, there may be regrets.
Yes, there may be disappointments.
Yes, there may be uncertainty.
But what is life without love?

And while I know you’re not perfect -
After all, who is?
And while there may be things about you which get to me,
I love you, despite them all.
And while I’m sure there may be others,
Considered more beautiful, more lovely, more charming,
There are none considered by me.
For you, my love, are the most lovely in spirit,
The most charming in personality,
The most beautiful person I have ever known -
And as such, I love you.

I said I fell in love with you once -
Well, that wasn’t exactly true.
Because every time you look me in the eye,
And smile that smile of yours,
That bubbles up from within your heart,
I find myself falling in love with you all over again.
No matter what has happened in my day,
No matter how I feel,
I find my heart opening to you all over again
No matter what has happened in the past,
No matter what may, or may not happen in the future,
I find myself in love.
After all, what is life without love?
And what is love without you?

YOU COMPLETE ME

I have been in the deepest of thoughts over the last few days. I've been praying to God to please arrange the circumstances in such a way that would make it easier for me to make this decision. I realize that by even asking for such a thing is selfish and wrong in many ways. The uncertainty has me lost and confused. But yet, I have been like a ghost because there is no sign of life in my movement when I'm there and I can't sleep the whole night, thinking about this situation, wondering hours and hours....Either way I will be apologizing for my thoughtless actions or inactions. But on who's behalf?

You've seduced my heart and captured it in a way I never believed possible. You complete me, not in the way that I couldn't live without you, but in the way that I would never want to. In a way that steals my breath and makes me fill every quiet moment I have with thoughts of you and the next time I can be beside you. This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper then what you can imagine. I wish you could see how much you mean to me. If you look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that my heart is yours completely. I trust you, respect you and want desperately to please you. You are the missing piece to a very complex puzzle. You will always be embedded deep within my heart. I adore you and I am yours as long as you will have me. No one said this would be easy... Will you last through the obstacles and challenges that lye before us?

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR TEMPER

Yes, there are always those moments when you feel like slaughtering someone or yelling until you've lost your voice for weeks... but you have to take control over yourself, so here are some tips!

STEPS: 1. Realize that things can be handled well at all times; it's just a matter of what kind of attitude you put into it.Take deep breaths. 2. Be considerate of others, and ultimately, yourself. The way you react will ultimately affect your surroundings. If you have to rebuke someone for doing something wrong, you can always do it calmly, in a private place. This method is always better for everyone in the long run. 3. Realize that no one likes to be around people who get angry easily, and act abusive. The only way you can change the situation is by starting with yourself. 4. Get away from situations where your anger might get the better of you, such as when someone is teasing you. Ignore the other person and walk away. If you must, do this a few times until the person gets the hint that you will not tolerate it. It's okay to use your words or body language to tell somebody you will not tolerate how they are treating you, as long as you respond to them in a calm and matter of fact manner, without being overtly hurtful or trying to embarrass them as they have you. It's never okay to hit somebody for making fun. 5. Say, "peace" to someone who says something that is ignorant, and then walk away. 6. If you are angry and you are standing, sit down, if you are sitting then lie down. 7. Remember that the reward for patience is happiness. 8. Remember, 5 seconds stand between you and logic, count to 5, and remember that logic always beats anger.

TIPS: 1. When you feel like you are about to blow up, count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then decide how you will act. This doctor-recommended method has definitely helped, I can vouch for that. 2. When you are angry then your heart beats faster, you feel uneasy and you want to express it somehow. Stay calm and take deep breaths, close your eyes for a while and you will find that the situation is under your control and slowly you will master your anger.

WARNING: Although it may seem hard in the beginning, you will get it as long as you put yourself into it. No one wakes up one day as a changed person, and you can't learn a new skill in one day... and yes, learning to control your temper is definitely a skill because not everyone can do it, and it's a great thing to master, good for you and for others.

ATTITUDE - A Vital Ingredient In Your Life

The right attitude is very important for positive personal growth. Is yours positive or negative?

Wouldn't it be great if you could wave a magic wand and the child standing in front of you was no longer challenging you but was smiling and agreeing to help you with the housework? Wow now that would be good!!!

Too much to hope for do you think? Hmmmm maybe! But dreams are free! I can remember writing out a sign saying 'Attitude Is Everything'. I pinned it up on my son's bedroom wall.

Why? Well I hoped that it might be the encouragement he needed to say 'sure dad' when I asked him to tidy up his room.

Guess what? You got it - it didn't work! I thought it was such a good idea too! Of course it's not only children who seem to be disagreeable at times is it? Sometimes it's the grown ups! It's not always easy to be bubbly and think that life is just fantastic all the time is it?

Do you sometimes feel that nothing is going right for you? Is the glass always half empty and never half full. So what can you do when you have a problem with your attitude? It's important to realise that the success or failure in your life depends on how you see yourself.

Do you see yourself in a negative or positive way? Try to realise that you hold they key to your success or to your failure! Yes you do! The key is inside you. It's your mindset! If you think you can't do something then you are right. To gain success through attitude you have to believe anything is possible. If you reverse your thoughts and say that you can, then you will be able to do things that you didn't know you could.

Do you dream about being successful? If you do you will have to take responsibility for your actions and thoughts. Start thinking "I can and I will." Then start doing! Discover how capable you are when you have the "I can do anything attitude." Tell yourself that you can succeed at whatever you decide. Believe this. Don't listen to people who tell you not to do something because they don't think you are capable. Prove to yourself that you are capable - and do it! When you succeed, do something else. Prove that you can! Have confidence in yourself. You are responsible for your attitude. If you hear yourself saying something negative, say something positive in its place.

The choice is yours. You decide. Are you going to start believing in yourself? I hope so. You hold the key to your future development. Nobody else can give you your attitude. It is uniquely yours. Why not decide to make it a positive one? Let go of any negative thoughts that make you feel unhappy. With the right attitude you can achieve. Know in your heart that you are special. You are special to you. You are the most important person to you! Everyone comes second to you and that's how it should be. Once you are the way you want to be you can begin to take care of the other people in your life.

When you have a positive mental attitude, you will notice how other people react to you differently. They will like the new you when you have invested your time in your personal growth success! They really will!

Start today - give it a try!